Soul Rest

I remember my dad talking about margins while growing up.  He'd say that every person has different margins on their "paper"/their life.  Some margins are more like .5 all around.  Others need margins that are 2" all around.  Essentially, meaning, that some people can handle more or less, but it is unique to each of us.  Live within yours.

I think for the first time, maybe ever, I'm truly understanding this.  And, more importantly, living within my own.  It's so different than time management, saying no, getting time alone or at social events.

A couple of months back I was working about 10 hours/week over my normal.  I think I just got driven and thought, "we're busy, but we are fine".  I wrote this post at that time (can you tell?).  Soon after that post and after lots of discussion between Clint and I about us, our home, and life in general I went back to maintaining my normal work hours.

The last month at church the sermons have been on just this - margins.  Clint did this last one on the margins that God creates for us.  He focused on Matthew 11:28-30 - the verses that I've been thinking and praying through since coming back to Princeton after the summer.

It was such a peaceful feeling to listen to those verses and the message and be reminded that I am living within that peace and rest.  My soul truly is at rest.  I'm not carrying too heavy a load or one that is not right for me.

And, I know how it is - in my soul, in our home, in our marriage, as a mom - when I don't live listening to the rhythm the Father has set for me.  And, oh, how it is to listen to His voice.  I clearly hear his voice and it is ever so "humble and gentle".  To me, it is the most beautiful picture of how one can live...at perfect peace and rest.

It also brought me back to an email I wrote to a friend about all my "gratitude posts"...

"They are what I need right now...gratitude and less drama (most of which I think of and make more than what it is...all in my own mind).  I am realizing that as much as I often want answers and strive to "do something" with my life, during this season I probably need to take any extra moments I do have to sit, think, be present (crafting or reading or looking blankly out the window).  I've been asking what "come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest......" means for this season of our lives when it does all seem a bit wearing.  Maybe that is it.  When opportunities do come to be at rest, to take them, and be okay with that (and with gratefulness even!).  And, in my tiredness to not do things that aren't true rest." 

...I believe that it has come to be and I am thankful for that.

dada's girl

Evee talks with great frequency about being "dada's girl".  The other night Clint brought up the wonderings of how much emotional development of who she is happens as she cuddles up on his lap.

Sometimes, when she is lying with us for a few brief moments in our waking hours, she will just look at me, give me a sweet little look, and say, "we're dada's girls, aren't we mom?"

random, random

Brief thoughts/happenings I had recently...  all extremely random, but still...

"All nighters" in undergrad are vastly different than in grad school, with a family, and a job - not that I'm doing them (nor did I do them in undergrad :) - I like my sleep), but it's not fun watching all that Clint needs to get done.

Tonight when I was putting Evee to bed and kneeling beside her "little big bed" (i.e. her toddler bed) she said, "Your on my bed."  I guess my arms were putting weight on her mattress.  Just to be clear she followed up with, "You're bothering me."  I sometimes wish I could be that direct.

Sometimes you wish you could do more for those you love, but are at a loss for how to help.

I was pushing Evee on a swing the other day with an older girl (9 years of age) swinging next to her.  I thought it was interesting that eventually we learn how to swing on our own.  If we had the choice, we'd probably prefer to swing on our own and not get pushed once we learn how.  Even if we had someone offering to push our swing, we'd probably turn it down.


And an update on the 1st and 3rd random thoughts which I wrote 2 nights ago - this morning Clint and I had a breakfast out together.  Sometimes being there is what you can do...supporting...being along side in the process.  There is a very sweet post (specifically the last 10 lines or so) here.  A good reminder about what can be done for those we love.

Fun things

I'm realizing that I have some fun pictures/videos that I never shared. I only recently realized that they had saved correctly on my computer...thought I'd lost them! As I go through pictures and find them, I will pass them along...even if they are only special to a few :).

Here's a precious video from the last lunch out with my parents after living with them last summer (2009). From here, we all headed out. Now they are living in Europe...I'm so thankful we had that time with them last summer.

You'll have to excuse the beginning of the video...no one realized that I was recording (there's a funny bit when my mom thought I was trying to take a picture).

Life

It's amazing that a new little life can go from

this

to this

in a matter of about 11 weeks. 

We are soon to head out of the 2nd trimester...hard to believe (although I can feel it's true).

Thinking of summer

This morning the temperature is 46 degrees, in March, at 9 am.  It feels so nice.  I am sitting on the porch writing this with the sun beating down on me.  Evee is playing out here; I am drinking coffee.  We are about to go for a walk and then we will sit on a blanket in the grass and read for a bit.  I'm kind of warm in my sweater.

It's getting lighter out in the morning and we have more daylight before nightfall.  People are coming out of their homes.  This weekend the playground was full of noise and fun again.  I love spring! 

Thinking  to the joys of spring/summer...

• Food - the wonderful recipes that happen during the summer season, the farmer's markets, the new fruits that are more available (and cheaper!)
• Gardening - we are sharing a plot with friends in a community garden a block away
• Warmth - sunshine...what more needs to be said
• Staying in one place - not moving or traveling much (I say this only for me...Clint, on the other hand, has a very busy start to the summer)
• Seeing family- knowing that we'll get to see some family (parents at least) with the new baby coming...we are very excited to have both parents come!

 It was not this warm!  But, it shows how wonderful the sun has been heating things up!

Happy Spring (maybe, almost)!

Gift pouch - reusable fabric bag

At Christmas I put most of our gifts in fabric bags I had from making "corn bags".  Since then, I'd been thinking about reusable gift pouches/bags and started working on a basic design last weekend.  It's been a lot of fun crafting so much (maybe a bit too much) this week.  I've posted a few on etsy...You can see them here.

Here are some pictures of them and how to use them.

The gift wrap/pouches come in 4 different sizes - extra small (4"x6"), small (7"x15"), medium (11"x17"), and large (14"x18").

This is the small size lying flat - there is a flap that comes over the top and holds the contents sturdy.

You can fold over the flap and insert contents inside. 

Then fold the flap back over and either leave it like that, tie some twine around the top or around it like it were a gift box. 

Depending on the contents inside, you can also add a card and slide it in the flap...it will hold securely.

And, there are other cute fabrics.

I'm enjoying the process and the finished product :).

Rejoicing and Mourning

"Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  

Honor one another above yourselves.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

Parts taken from Romans 12:9-15

I've specifically been thinking lately of the "rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn" and praying for discernment in wisdom to apply this in the realities of life - both in the beauty and the harshness that life can bring.

1st Day of School

Last Wednesday was Evee's first day of school (preschool that is).  She woke up that morning, opened her door, and her first words for the day were "Is it time for school?". 

She didn't finish her 2 eggs for breakfast because she was so anxious to get there.  I took this picture as she was eating eggs this morning and that's the same smile we left her with at school - excited, but not sure exactly how it would all go. Oh, and those barrettes came out 2 minutes later - I cannot get her to wear anything in her hair...

She had such a great time and looked slightly sad to see us...meaning that she couldn't have lunch with the full day kids.

Here are pictures that Evee's teacher sent her of her first day of school. It was fun to go through them with her and have her narrate for each one..."reading by ourselves", "playing outside", making postcards", etc...  She said, "Let's put them on the blog".  So here are all of them :).

Birthday love

Today is Clint's birthday - 29.  It's nice it is today, on a Friday with fun possibilities :).  Happy birthday Clint!

I love him...

• Overall he is the best friend, lover, partner for life that I could ever ask for
• He is a man of integrity and a man of his word
• His faith is steady and unwavering 
• He is constantly forgiving and full of grace
• He makes me laugh
• He puts up with my intensity and, I believe, even loves me more for it
• He does not live his life to please others, but is still compassionate and truly cares about people
• Evee adores him and they have so much fun together  
• He wants to be with me and be with Evee - we are a joy and priority to him
• He works hard and provides for his family
• He also knows how to rest
• He has great wisdom and discernment
• He is committed to the end
• His intent is never to harm me and over and over again thinks (both intentionally and simply out of who he is) about how he can add blessing to me life- he believes and wants the best for me
• His passion and love - he keeps these just for me
• He is very handsome and ever so fine
• He is strong while being surrendered and broken
• He is a dreamer and thinks big picture all the time
• He is smart, works hard at all he does and is respected greatly
• He is naturally a leader - he cannot help but lead
• He is a lover of life, passion, and things that matter

This is the amazing man I get to spend life with...

  

 

More interesting reads

Some posts I've been reading and thinking about.  Not anything that pertains to life now, in these moments, but still things to ponder over the years ahead.

Passing them on just in case they are of interest to anyone else. 

On schooling - info on thinking through your child's education
On adoption - thoughts on adoption

A party indeed...

Wednesdays are great nights anyway, but this week there was an added party :).  In the last of the potty training posts I mentioned an upcoming "potty party".  Last week we had that party. 

On Wednesday nights a few friends gather for dinner and then to watch Tuesday night's LOST episode.  As a side note, I do love these nights.  We all bring something to contribute to the dinner, everyone talks and hangs out, and kids play around us.  It's a great mid week get together.

Last week Evee and I made cupcakes and we hosted the dinner at our house.  I must say, what I love about our friends is that they actually engaged in the moment.  To be honest, I was thinking, "is this silly?"  But, I had told Evee that we would do it when her chart was filled AND it truly is a thing worth celebrating.  Our friends went above and beyond though...  One friend brought her balloons and two little girls brought her pictures they had made and a pair of panties each.

Here are some pictures of the evening (and the cupcakes)...

 

  

  

 

Grateful

With a kid in tow, I often think about how wonderful it would be to have family nearby.  Living on the far east coast of the US, our closest immediate family member lives in Indiana.  Other than that most are overseas (all of Clint's family and my parents).  My other 2 siblings are on the far west coast.

Lately I've just felt so blessed at how God provides people, though, when we need it.  Last year we did a lot of swaps, which was wonderful.  Swapping tends to come and go in seasons.

I'm enjoying a swap right now, in fact.  It's Sunday, it's been a weekend of lots of activity, Clint has been away since Friday (it's now Sunday), and a friend (who's husband is also away) and I are swapping this afternoon. 

So even though Clint is gone, right now I'm sipping on a drink, enjoying some time alone and writing this post :).  It's a beautiful thing and was wonderful timing.

Moreover, in the last few weeks each of the following has happened...

• We were coming home from church trying to decide whether we should go out for Valentine's day and thinking about who we may be able to swap with to save some money.  As we were walking to our apartment a friend called out of his apartment, "Can we take Evee tomorrow night so you guys can go out?"  Um, yes.  I think my answer was "seriously?". 
• Then I was in a wedding 2 weekends ago and there was a last minute get together of all the bridesmaids.  I had a friend who offered to take Evee for the 6 hours or so that Clint was in class so that I could leave a day early.
• Last weekend we went to a prayer retreat and that same friend (above) and another friend helped us out for a good portion of the day (8:45-3:15pm) on Saturday.
• I have a conference at the end of April, but it's during the week.  So, hard to find childcare.  Our backup was to have her in daycare all 3 days, but we were hoping for something else, but not sure how it would work.  Last Sunday a friend comes up to me and says that she has been thinking about it and would really like to offer to keep Evee as much as we need during that time.  

Isn't that amazing!  That each of those literally happened?  I just feel so amazed and blessed by people's generosity.  So many blessings...

For Joni

I always wanted my sister to send us pictures while she was pregnant so we could see her little belly in process.  She never did... :)

Now, she has been asking for some and I feel the same hesitancy.  I don't know why it feels like a vulnerable thing to post pictures while in process of getting bigger.  Even though it's such a beautiful thing...

Well, here are some pictures for Joni.  Maybe then next time she's preggers I'll get some sent my way :).  Not that it's my motivation, but...

(note: I took pictures on 2 consecutive days thinking that maybe I'd look smaller in the blue shirt that's not as tight.  right.  Also, it's ironic that both of these shirts are ones that Joni passed on to me from her pregnancy.)

We are right around the halfway mark...

 

 

Going slow

I saw this quote on another blog...

Loving yourself has a lot to do with slowing down…
Rather than adding one thing more every day, why not try adding one thing less?
…Try editing your days; craft them to sing concisely like memorable lines of poetry.
…Rushing is anxiety in motion.
- Mike Mason, Practicing the Presence of People

How true the words are...at least in my own life.  "Rushing is anxiety in motion".  I've never thought about it like that, but it makes sense.  And rushing creates more anxiety in my own life as well.  

This is a lot of what I was getting at in this post.  Things that require me to slow down, be present, and remind me of the simple beauties of each day.  

More winter meanderings...

From Friday...

Today turned out to be another snow day (this winter has been amazing, really).  Although, for us, this is a normal Friday.  Fridays are the beautiful day of the week that is completely free...where we usually have a clean slate each week.  And we enjoy it.

The only thing that the snow meant this morning was changing a date to play with friends.  It didn't end up snowing too much and now it's just beautiful outside, so it seems a bit silly now that we canceled.  But at 10 am, when it was snowing, it was hard to make that call.

After a quiet morning with a quick visit (Evee and I) to friends, Clint came home for lunch and then headed out again to class.  Evee and I got to work...

I wanted to finally finish a "craft/play" blanket that I'd started last spring.  I'd made one for my sister (since I knew she'd appreciate it and a lot of it was her own leftover fabric - thanks Jules!), but still needed to finish Evee's.

Evee and I did it together as she likes to do with most sewing projects ("let's do it together").  Then we used it straight away to make a long time intended thank you note that can finally go in the mail.  Painting, drawing, writing of notes, putting on of stickers...lots of fun.

 

 

Evee then saw a friend playing out in the snow.  She, this friend, and the friend's 2 older sisters have now been very happily playing outside, sledding, for a good chunk of time.  I'm so amazed at the moments I am having.  And, all when I had wanted to start on this project - perfect timing!  I've been cutting out fabric, listening to music, and glancing out the window for awhile now.

Clint just called to check in and I told him that I'm alone, doing whatever I want.  He was so happy for me...which is ever so sweet since he has been working all day and was checking in before working again until he comes home for dinner.  I wonder if I'd be jealous if I was him...but he was just excited for me.

I think I see Evee making her way back...should go now :).