happy new year

I do realize this is my first post in a week.  We are enjoying our days, which go by quickly.  I'm missing the moments to ponder and write, but life is going on all around and there is nothing to be missed.

The moments make my heart full.
:: Christmas together with my siblings, parents and sweet grandparents
:: seeing dear friends
:: going to Margot's river and sharing of her together
:: all of us, together in the midst of the everyday - meals, naps, playing, talking
:: hula hooping...oh yes, I've finally learned how
:: sharing stories and memories, particularly about my grandparents and their 60 years together
:: laughter and tears; there is something tender about being together as a family

(If you would like to see some very dear pictures of our Christmas happenings, they are on Josh's blog.)

On this last day of 2011 there is much uncertainty and a bit of awkwardness to our lives right now.  However, I know we are exactly where we want to be and I love that.  On our best days we dream about the life we hope and strive for and live it out as best as we can.  I'm looking forward to the year ahead...all the potentials.

Much love to each of you.  Thanks for sharing in our journey.  

Happy New Year.

on Christmas Eve...

:: maybe the only snow we see is when flying into Denver for our 4 hour layover
:: maybe the good-byes are hard as we get dropped off for our flight...our next travel will be to leave the states for a long while
::maybe I picked up one quick gift for Evee on our way out of town since Christmas came quicker than expected in the midst of packing, seeing friends and starting the move
:: maybe there are people that would be nice to see one more time or for a bit longer, since I don't know when next time will be


but then again...
:: we are flying to see family and friends
:: my sister is in transit with us...it's so nice to see her face sitting beside us (and awesome to have another adult for travel)
:: I have my sweet (tired) girls and amazing husband
:: I anticipate a great year ahead as we close out 2011
:: we've been with such beautiful people before and during this time of transition
:: it is Christmas Eve, tomorrow is Christmas day and by tomorrow night my family will be together and it will be wonderful...

So as I type this from Denver, I wish you a very merry Christmas.  May you know hope, peace and joy this night.  Much love to you.

reflection

There is much I want to reflect on these days...where we have come from, leaving the family we lived with for 6 months and the church that generously supported us and sent us off so wonderfully.  But, I tell myself there will be time for that.  I don't know if I have the words yet anyway. 
We long to find the balance
being in the moments now/
anticipating what's ahead/
reflecting on what has brought us here

In this awkward space of not having a home of our own or routine for our family, we long for this balance, while feeling ever so grateful for the people we are surrounded with and enjoying these moments as a gift. 

Much to be thankful for, much to anticipate.  Thanks for hanging in the balance with me.

Niagara Falls

Last year we stayed home for Christmas.  We had dinner together at home most nights.  We worked through a question a day on our garland and it worked wonderfully.

This year, we have no home.  Dinner together as a family usually takes place, but in the midst of a lot of other things.  This year we thought through our answers on a car ride, from Canada to Indiana.  8 questions, all in one day.  I'm sure we'll do another lump again, whenever there is a moment to process.  Truly we do want to record this year, to remember.  But, this year is different and we have to relax in that fact.  And that is okay.

There were a number of places that we really wanted to get to while on the east coast (i.e. Boston and Washington D.C).  Between school, work, having a baby and all else included this was not our season of travel, except of course to New Zealand to discern and to family and friends :).  Never mind.  I guess, just not the season for that kind of travel.

On the way through to Indiana, though, we stopped at Niagara Falls...another place we'd wanted to visit.  One night, hotel room, just us as a family, saw the falls on both sides, got wings in Buffalo, and a lot of driving.  It was worth it for a few reasons.

this week

...in (no more than) 48 words.  A rhythm for the weekend.  Taking time to look back on the week past.  A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.

I would so love to read your words!  If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Commissioned, lunch together, dinner, making sushi, last times, many good-byes, some hellos, lots of travel, being together.  Figuring out this short season of travel and friends.  


Thankful for people and love and encouragement and hospitality. 

the Grubb's

We are on our way...making our way to Indiana, then to California, then to Australia before arriving in New Zealand.  It will be a journey, that is for sure.  Today felt like a long drive and tomorrow will be much longer.  Then, flights from there...

We stopped in at my grandparent's house in PA for the night.  It's sweet to see them each time we visit.  I always leave there thinking about farming.  It must be in our family's blood.  I think about my siblings and how we are drawn to it, somehow, in our own way.  I also think about rhythm.  So much of my grandparent's lives are similar to what it was years ago and what will be next time we visit.  There is consistency and it brings comfort. 

We got to see all my cousins and aunts and uncles as well.  It felt like such a treat since it can be hard to get everyone together at one time. 

(Really I'm just posting these for my family who I know will love to see glimpses of family in Pennsylvania.  It would have been something to all be there.)

a chair

(from Saturday)
You are forced to ask yourself how much something is worth.  When paying $10 per cubic foot, should you bring it?

Today our things are gone.  We have 6 bags and a bass guitar to carry around the globe.  The rest of our stuff fits onto (approximately) a 4 foot by 7 foot by 7 foot pallet space.  And, that's everything.

The shipping company asked to come 2 days early, then showed up 30 minutes before planned.  I didn't have time to think, to process...until it came to the rocking chair.

Were we over in cubic feet?  Clint measured the chair and we estimated the cost.  The man asked what we felt it was worth to keep it. 

My mom rocked Julie in that rocking chair.  I rocked Evee there and sometimes still do.  Now Iris is rocked while I sit on that seat, multiple times a day.  When I was pregnant with Evee, our awaited first child my mom reupholstered the fabric and gave it to me.  Oh, I love that chair.

If we were just going for 5 years, even a bit more, I think I would have kept it back.  Not worth the risk of something happening to it and knowing I would sit in it again.  But that is not our plan.  God willing, we'll have another baby or two...I want that chair.  What if my girls want to rock their babies in it one day.

I have 2 pieces of furniture to my name.  That chair and a little red table that Evee sat at every day, multiple times a day, eating lunch with friends, doing crafts.  My sisters and I sat at that table and my mom had it as a girl.

Both pieces went on that truck today and as I rocked Iris in the middle of boxes and the movers, I realized I would have paid a lot more to keep those things.  They make up home for me and are apart of who I am and what I want my girls to know.

This morning feels a bit tough, but I haven't thought about taking our decision back, not even once.  And I have no doubt that this is what we are to do.  And just when there is a moment of discouragement we get an email or a detail comes together and hope does not disappoint.  So many of you are in the journey with us.  And I am ever thankful that we are not alone.

this week

...in (no more than) 48 words.  A rhythm for the weekend.  Taking time to look back on the week past.  A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.

I would so love to read your words!  If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Packing is almost done, we have short term housing in Christchurch, friends to pick us up, and all the flight details.  Yay!  

As the goodbyes have begun, it has been hard.  But, can I also say, that we are excited and anticipating much upon arrival in Christchurch. 

and sushi

I've never eaten so much sushi in my life, but it was too amazing to give in and stop eating.  Top sushi place in New Jersey, which I believe actually means something.  (And, can I add that I will know how to make sushi by the end of this week and hopefully will be ready to impress family at Christmas.  Oh yes.  We shall see.)

The goodbyes have started and I realize this is only the beginning.  I hope you are not tired of the goodbye posts since they have only begun.  The next 4+ weeks are filled with hellos and goodbyes. 

I will strive to focus on both and be grateful for the amazing people in our lives instead of letting myself get caught in the sadness.  I would rather know and say goodbye then have never known at all.  This is better, I will tell myself...because it is true.

We are in the midst of processing all that is coming while living in each moment and loving it for what is now. 

over tea

Some conversations sustain you a whole week through...sometimes two weeks, maybe more.  Thankful for bits of insight when sharing.  Safe people are a gift...they keep you going and help you think.

together

I am thankful that in the craziness of grad school and two kids and work that we have lived these past 3 years as a family.  It feels that we did it all together.  Sometimes it was wonderful, and sometimes it has been messy, but I've loved the moments and it has taught me much about the kind of life I want to continue to live. 

(this is a picture from this summer, but essentially it is relived every weekend)

this week

...in (no more than) 48 words.  A rhythm for the weekend.  Taking time to look back on the week past.  A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.

I would so love to read your words!  If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Spending last meals and last moments with friends and enjoying every moment of it.  Sometimes my head feels like it is spinning, though, and trying to keep up with it all has its moments.  Striving to stay calm and at peace, even when we feel overwhelmed.  

December!

And here we are, at the beginning of December.  Can you believe it?!  It has come so soon.  Our days are full of remembering, while also anticipating.  All the more reason to live in the moments that are here and now.

Which is exactly what we do as we begin our musing garland this year...Anticipate Christmas and all that it means while remembering this past year and sharing those moments together now. 

I'm happy that a good number of you wanted to join in on this!  So fun to do it with others this year!

Happy start to December and happy reflecting to you...