Recently Evee and I got on to the topic of nursing and milk. I told her (in so many words) that the milk only comes if there is a baby that needs it.
Evee thought that when she got bigger she would have milk and be able to feed her little sister.
I told her that when she got older she might have her own baby to feed.
That got us on the topic of getting older and husbands.
"And who's my husband going to be?" (Evee)
"We don't know. Who do you think your husband will be?" (me)
"Um...I think papa."
"Oh yeah? Why do you think papa will be your husband?"
"Because he's so silly." (I could see the click in her mind at this point at the word silly) "And dad's so silly too, I think dad will be my husband."
"So, dad and papa are going to be your husbands?"
"Yeah, they're so silly." (and she was laughing...not sure at what, but I'm guessing that she was thinking of getting tickled or a having a "crash landing" before bedtime).
The things I love about this...
there is no thought that her dad and her papa are indeed already married
there isn't a limit on the number of husbands one might have
silliness is the trait she is drawn to
she is sweetly in love with her dad and her papa and the role they play in her life...so thankful
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
grad school
There are so many things about this season of life that are hard and so many that are so wonderful. Although I, myself am not in grad school I feel the weight of it in many ways.
I would say that the hardness of this time, for me, mostly comes in the scheduling issues and general feelings of chaos that come now and again.
But, truly this season is full of such beauty and joy as well. In the discipline of gratitude, I thought I'd list some of what I'm so thankful for within it all.
I would say that the hardness of this time, for me, mostly comes in the scheduling issues and general feelings of chaos that come now and again.
But, truly this season is full of such beauty and joy as well. In the discipline of gratitude, I thought I'd list some of what I'm so thankful for within it all.
- We see each other (as a family) randomly throughout the day. There are times when Clint is home for lunch or when we might meet him at school.
- We have subsidized housing.
- We get to live on the east coast for a bit. The east coast has a feel all its own and has great places all around.
- We are in a wonderful community of people...all going to grad school, all trying to figure out scheduling issues, all having ups and downs. Truly we live life together.
- Within that, we can see people all the time, help each other out, walk across the playground or the street and find friends. Meals together, evening chats, and random morning coffee dates are frequent.
- There is a great playground.
- The financial aid here is generous. Very thankful for that.
- We have jobs that we enjoy.
- There are little random things that we get to do, like ride the university shuttle from our apartments to downtown Princeton. It's extremely enjoyable, especially for a 3 year old. And we don't have to pay for parking downtown.
- There are lots of books all around.
- We are a part of a community garden. This could be utilized by us more often, but that's another story.
Monday, September 27, 2010
shots (as in immunizations)
Today Iris got her 2 month shots. I have varying feelings about immunizations in general, but we got them none the less.
Usually getting immunized has been only eventful at the time of the shot, but today from 2pm till 4pm Iris was crying. A lot.
It was so hard to see her in pain. I tried holding her, rocking her, feeding her, setting her down, picking her up. There was nothing I could do. Nothing that seemed to relieve her discomfort.
In the end, I settled myself in the old rocking chair that is in Evee's room, the one my mom passed on to me. Evee hung out with us, snuggled up in bed on this rainy day.
I realized there was nothing I could do except hold her while she cried. As much as I wished I could do more, it was kind of reassuring to know that I could hold her and that was something. We rocked for awhile.
Sometimes I think that's all that can be done. And it is love. And even though we want to do more, wish things could be different, all you can do is hold another. And, I'm obviously not just talking about babies and shots.
Usually getting immunized has been only eventful at the time of the shot, but today from 2pm till 4pm Iris was crying. A lot.
It was so hard to see her in pain. I tried holding her, rocking her, feeding her, setting her down, picking her up. There was nothing I could do. Nothing that seemed to relieve her discomfort.
In the end, I settled myself in the old rocking chair that is in Evee's room, the one my mom passed on to me. Evee hung out with us, snuggled up in bed on this rainy day.
I realized there was nothing I could do except hold her while she cried. As much as I wished I could do more, it was kind of reassuring to know that I could hold her and that was something. We rocked for awhile.
Sometimes I think that's all that can be done. And it is love. And even though we want to do more, wish things could be different, all you can do is hold another. And, I'm obviously not just talking about babies and shots.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
these days
Today I talked with a lady who has older kids. Her oldest left for college this year. She's been gone for a month now and is coming home for the weekend. The mom was a bit teary-eyed talking about it.
She reminded me, as people often do, about how quickly these days with little ones go. I know. And yet, it's always a good reminder to stay present and love these moments. Life is a blessing. Even in the hard times there is beauty somewhere, if we look.
I do love these days and these girls. Maybe there are times when I look forward to a slower season or the days when I'll talk with these 2 about "deeper" things. But I will never wish these moments away.
And, in the midst of a day there are slower moments and conversations about deep things - feelings, relationships, God (with Evee anyway :)). And, maybe it's not in the same way that we will talk about life when she is 10 and 16 and 24, but it's deep and real at 3 years old. And I love it.
Life is beautiful.
She reminded me, as people often do, about how quickly these days with little ones go. I know. And yet, it's always a good reminder to stay present and love these moments. Life is a blessing. Even in the hard times there is beauty somewhere, if we look.
I do love these days and these girls. Maybe there are times when I look forward to a slower season or the days when I'll talk with these 2 about "deeper" things. But I will never wish these moments away.
And, in the midst of a day there are slower moments and conversations about deep things - feelings, relationships, God (with Evee anyway :)). And, maybe it's not in the same way that we will talk about life when she is 10 and 16 and 24, but it's deep and real at 3 years old. And I love it.
Seriously, just want to eat this one.
Of course Evee and I couldn't get her to smile for a picture, but the girl smiles so easily. Really. She makes it very difficult to walk past without stopping and talking. As soon as you look at her she smiles and starts to chat back.
Life is beautiful.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
love
I am rereading through some of Mother Teresa's teachings. In part to see more of a glimpse into my own soul and desires and also to be reminded to love.
Thinking about this...
Thinking about this...
"Let us be very sincere in our dealings with each other and have the courage to accept each other as we are. Do not be surprised or become preoccupied at each other's failure; rather see and find the good in each other, for each one of us is created in the image of God...Therefore, let us be extremely patient with each other's faults and failures. Use your tongue for the good of others. "I'm so thankful when grace is shown to me and when my failures and faults are patiently looked over.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
dresses & farms
In the midst of a bit of sickness, a bit of coming back together (which has been wonderful, by the way), a bit of sleep, a bit of school, a bit of work, a bit of hanging out with friends...we are living life.
Here are pictures of going to a local farm. We didn't get to stay as long as we would have liked, but hope to head back sometime soon to pick apples. I must say, these pictures depict my daughter so well. Getting dirty and running around while wearing a nice dress. Is there another way to live? Supposedly not.
And, speaking of Evee... I might add that while looking through pictures of this past year I saw Evee in pants. I got curious and looked through more pictures and realized that the last time I have a picture of Evee in pants was almost one year ago (fall 2009)! I'm pretty sure this was one of the last time she wore pants (on their own...meaning, not under a dress or as pajamas). Such a cute little thing...
Here are pictures of going to a local farm. We didn't get to stay as long as we would have liked, but hope to head back sometime soon to pick apples. I must say, these pictures depict my daughter so well. Getting dirty and running around while wearing a nice dress. Is there another way to live? Supposedly not.
And, speaking of Evee... I might add that while looking through pictures of this past year I saw Evee in pants. I got curious and looked through more pictures and realized that the last time I have a picture of Evee in pants was almost one year ago (fall 2009)! I'm pretty sure this was one of the last time she wore pants (on their own...meaning, not under a dress or as pajamas). Such a cute little thing...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Funny things
Clint was gone this week...
2 things will stick out in my memory of the week that were not so much funny at the time, but were memories non the less and are kind of funny looking back. (And, I will say that Evee and I both stayed very positive throughout the whole process).
Firstly, the second day that Clint was gone I got a migraine. I've never had one before...sadly, I think it was lack of coffee/caffeine. By that evening it got so bad I felt like I could hardly function.
It was right before bedtime and I was feeding Iris while talking with Evee on the couch. I realized that I was going to throw up.
Since I was feeding Iris, I started telling Evee that I was going to throw up and needed the bathroom trash can. She told me that when we throw up we use the toilet. I quickly realized this conversation was not going to happen fast enough and walked to the bathroom in time to make it to the toilet ("where we throw up").
So, with a baby latched on and a 3 year old looking on while commentating, "oh, your dinner is in the toilet. oh..." I threw up. Then had just enough energy to finish feeding Iris, put both kids in bed and head to bed myself by 8:20pm.
The second is when Evee, Iris and I excitedly headed to the airport to pick up Clint. However, somewhere in the process of Clint flying from Cleveland to Newark there was a huge storm in Newark and the plane flew to Connecticut instead.
In the end, the girls and I made a 4 1/2 hour trip to drive around Newark airport and get dinner inside before heading back (without Clint who later had to take the train home).
Clint is back home. Smile. It was a good week (really) for both him and us...but I'm very very happy to all be together again.
2 things will stick out in my memory of the week that were not so much funny at the time, but were memories non the less and are kind of funny looking back. (And, I will say that Evee and I both stayed very positive throughout the whole process).
Firstly, the second day that Clint was gone I got a migraine. I've never had one before...sadly, I think it was lack of coffee/caffeine. By that evening it got so bad I felt like I could hardly function.
It was right before bedtime and I was feeding Iris while talking with Evee on the couch. I realized that I was going to throw up.
Since I was feeding Iris, I started telling Evee that I was going to throw up and needed the bathroom trash can. She told me that when we throw up we use the toilet. I quickly realized this conversation was not going to happen fast enough and walked to the bathroom in time to make it to the toilet ("where we throw up").
So, with a baby latched on and a 3 year old looking on while commentating, "oh, your dinner is in the toilet. oh..." I threw up. Then had just enough energy to finish feeding Iris, put both kids in bed and head to bed myself by 8:20pm.
The second is when Evee, Iris and I excitedly headed to the airport to pick up Clint. However, somewhere in the process of Clint flying from Cleveland to Newark there was a huge storm in Newark and the plane flew to Connecticut instead.
In the end, the girls and I made a 4 1/2 hour trip to drive around Newark airport and get dinner inside before heading back (without Clint who later had to take the train home).
Clint is back home. Smile. It was a good week (really) for both him and us...but I'm very very happy to all be together again.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
childhood
I'm reminded these days of making forts and tree houses and playing pretend for hour upon hour.
I walk into our house and on our porch and see dishes and dolls scattered random places. Tea cups are getting broken for the sake of pouring tea into cups over and over again.
Today Evee went to a friends surprise birthday tea party. There were little tea cups, lots of pretend and fairies fluttering every while making wands. It was beautiful and sweet.
It's easy to forget the ease and simplicity of being 3 (or 4 or 5)...how playing house, pretending to be grown-up, and having a store were games.
I'm amazed to realize how we are modeling for her (all the time) and then fascinating to watch how it is portrayed in play...realizing that many things are being learned about life and relationships in the cycle of watching and playing.
I walk into our house and on our porch and see dishes and dolls scattered random places. Tea cups are getting broken for the sake of pouring tea into cups over and over again.
Today Evee went to a friends surprise birthday tea party. There were little tea cups, lots of pretend and fairies fluttering every while making wands. It was beautiful and sweet.
It's easy to forget the ease and simplicity of being 3 (or 4 or 5)...how playing house, pretending to be grown-up, and having a store were games.
I'm amazed to realize how we are modeling for her (all the time) and then fascinating to watch how it is portrayed in play...realizing that many things are being learned about life and relationships in the cycle of watching and playing.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
community
Last night I was online looking up info about a parenting book I have been reading. Without going into detail about the book, I thought it was helpful in a lot of ways but also came off as extreme. I wanted to see how others were making it work for them.
After reading through different blog posts (and their comments) the end conclusion was this...
Although the authors/the book have some really helpful concepts, they come across closed and unyielding to many in their approach. BUT, come to find out, before the book was ever in print, it was taught in the context of community. Moms and dads coming together, learning, helping each other. The authors shared their approach and how it worked for them, but it was much more open and gave a bit of breathing room in the process. If those in the class had questions, they could get helpful answers...even if the answer was maybe a bit different than that which was being taught.
And, I would say that as interesting as the book has been, it's been more helpful to talk with the friend who passed it on to me. To hear that she experienced similar things, what worked and didn't work, and to trust my "mother's instinct".
It's made me again consider, as I often do, the importance and beauty of community. The importance of actually living life side by side and how we can potentially miss so much when we don't live this way. Books and the internet hold so much information, helpful information at that (since I obviously found the background info of the book online :)). But, still, context is often missed, its harder to ask questions and get specific answers, and the stories behind the statements can so easily be lost.
I am thankful for community - the conversations that come through dinners shared, phone calls taken, even emails back and forth - all while living in the moments together.
After reading through different blog posts (and their comments) the end conclusion was this...
Although the authors/the book have some really helpful concepts, they come across closed and unyielding to many in their approach. BUT, come to find out, before the book was ever in print, it was taught in the context of community. Moms and dads coming together, learning, helping each other. The authors shared their approach and how it worked for them, but it was much more open and gave a bit of breathing room in the process. If those in the class had questions, they could get helpful answers...even if the answer was maybe a bit different than that which was being taught.
And, I would say that as interesting as the book has been, it's been more helpful to talk with the friend who passed it on to me. To hear that she experienced similar things, what worked and didn't work, and to trust my "mother's instinct".
It's made me again consider, as I often do, the importance and beauty of community. The importance of actually living life side by side and how we can potentially miss so much when we don't live this way. Books and the internet hold so much information, helpful information at that (since I obviously found the background info of the book online :)). But, still, context is often missed, its harder to ask questions and get specific answers, and the stories behind the statements can so easily be lost.
I am thankful for community - the conversations that come through dinners shared, phone calls taken, even emails back and forth - all while living in the moments together.
Monday, September 13, 2010
mornings
In the midst of routine and life, I'm hoping for more mornings like this...
...sitting on the couch or lying in bed (like this morning), looking at each other and talking/singing/holding hands.
Even if the talking is Evee telling me that Iris hit her on her cheek...but "actually that it is okay because it didn't hurt too bad". And, to let me know that sometimes she hits Iris with her elbow. All ends well. smile.
Friday, September 10, 2010
fall
I love the fall.
The weather here has been into the 60's and 70's and it feels wonderful. Maybe not fully "fall", but still...
I've started rethinking and analyzing our
meal plan
schedule
budget
I feel driven to
clean out the closets
think through what we can get rid of
rewrite things I've already written (probably every year at this time)
I love
the sounds that come in the windows at night
snuggling up
wearing sweaters (even if only for an hour a day when it's cool enough)
the start of routine
Looking forward to
leaves falling
warm soups
wearing warm clothes
farm visits
and many more things I'm not thinking of now...
The weather here has been into the 60's and 70's and it feels wonderful. Maybe not fully "fall", but still...
I've started rethinking and analyzing our
meal plan
schedule
budget
I feel driven to
clean out the closets
think through what we can get rid of
rewrite things I've already written (probably every year at this time)
I love
the sounds that come in the windows at night
snuggling up
wearing sweaters (even if only for an hour a day when it's cool enough)
the start of routine
Looking forward to
leaves falling
warm soups
wearing warm clothes
farm visits
and many more things I'm not thinking of now...
Thursday, September 9, 2010
future
A bit of time not blogging the last 2 days.
Lots of thinking about the future. Thinking about who we are. Intentionally thinking it all out...in our hearts, with our words and on paper.
A few things that were emphasized in my mind (personally and presently more than the whole of our future)
In thinking about our values - I love that the things that matter most to us (our values) are not anything other than who we already are...who we cannot help but be. There is something beautiful and freeing in that.
In thinking through relationships - Am I giving myself to the relationships I most care about? Is there health and peace within my relationships?
In thinking through my time - General questions of "what things are those that only I can do?" and "what things must I not do?". In the end, "how do I truly want to spend my days?" and am I doing that?
In thinking through my goals - Basically, I'd like to have them. Smile. I'm sure I have some unconsciously, but I'd like to have them intentionally and ones that line up with my values.
Looking back on these 2 days
I am tired...thinking about all of this is a lot of work.
I am at peace...and sweetly surprised at the lack of worry and fear.
I am hopeful...we are moving ahead.
I am curious...how will things come about.
I am thankful...the process and journey are messy but beautiful.
I am present...especially with a toddler and newborn in tow for it all...life is lived today.
Lots of thinking about the future. Thinking about who we are. Intentionally thinking it all out...in our hearts, with our words and on paper.
A few things that were emphasized in my mind (personally and presently more than the whole of our future)
In thinking about our values - I love that the things that matter most to us (our values) are not anything other than who we already are...who we cannot help but be. There is something beautiful and freeing in that.
In thinking through relationships - Am I giving myself to the relationships I most care about? Is there health and peace within my relationships?
In thinking through my time - General questions of "what things are those that only I can do?" and "what things must I not do?". In the end, "how do I truly want to spend my days?" and am I doing that?
In thinking through my goals - Basically, I'd like to have them. Smile. I'm sure I have some unconsciously, but I'd like to have them intentionally and ones that line up with my values.
Looking back on these 2 days
I am tired...thinking about all of this is a lot of work.
I am at peace...and sweetly surprised at the lack of worry and fear.
I am hopeful...we are moving ahead.
I am curious...how will things come about.
I am thankful...the process and journey are messy but beautiful.
I am present...especially with a toddler and newborn in tow for it all...life is lived today.
Monday, September 6, 2010
a day in the city
A labor day well spent...
New York City
Children's Museum of Manhattan
A random lunch find that was amazing
Central Park - picnic lunch and playground playing for Evee
Dinner cookout with friends once back home
New York City
Children's Museum of Manhattan
A random lunch find that was amazing
Central Park - picnic lunch and playground playing for Evee
Dinner cookout with friends once back home
(and yes if you're wondering, this is the same outfit as yesterday...it's pink and it's a tutu...what more can I say?)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
the weekend
This weekend I had gifts of
a bit of time alone (and a friend who went above and beyond to make it happen)
late night talking with Clint
coffee with a friend
reading books again...it's been a few weeks (now, to commit to just one!)
remembering what got me in to social work/psychology (and feeling passionate even though I don't necessarily have concrete ways it is being played out in my life)
the start of fall-ish weather
many infant smiles
Tonight between dinner and bedtime I put a blanket out in front of our apartment. Evee and I had talked about reading books on a blanket all afternoon, but it hadn't happened yet.
Clint made his way out there with Evee and Iris while I started on dishes. After taking a quick peak at them outside, I thought...why am I doing dishes?...I headed out.
We had such a short window of daylight and of time before Evee went to bed.
I'm sure looking back (and often even now) I will also feel that there is such a short window of childhood, of times like this one.
Not too long later I headed inside to feed Iris. Clint was reading to Evee when I left. When I went back to the door to call out that it was getting to be "about that time" there I saw them - on their backs, side-by-side, holding hands, looking up at the sky while talking.
a bit of time alone (and a friend who went above and beyond to make it happen)
late night talking with Clint
coffee with a friend
reading books again...it's been a few weeks (now, to commit to just one!)
remembering what got me in to social work/psychology (and feeling passionate even though I don't necessarily have concrete ways it is being played out in my life)
the start of fall-ish weather
many infant smiles
Tonight between dinner and bedtime I put a blanket out in front of our apartment. Evee and I had talked about reading books on a blanket all afternoon, but it hadn't happened yet.
Clint made his way out there with Evee and Iris while I started on dishes. After taking a quick peak at them outside, I thought...why am I doing dishes?...I headed out.
We had such a short window of daylight and of time before Evee went to bed.
I'm sure looking back (and often even now) I will also feel that there is such a short window of childhood, of times like this one.
Not too long later I headed inside to feed Iris. Clint was reading to Evee when I left. When I went back to the door to call out that it was getting to be "about that time" there I saw them - on their backs, side-by-side, holding hands, looking up at the sky while talking.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
sleep and other good things
I do realize that a large theme on this blog of late has been sleep.
And, yet, its a necessary part of life and one that has been hit or miss around here lately (and by "hit" I mean, of course, 3 hours or so).
So, write about sleep I will...for at least another post or two...maybe more, who knows.
This is a different sort of post, though, since it is about getting sleep. Last night I had a very helpful conversation with a friend about infant sleep. We tried a few things out and behold, there was a 5 1/2 hour stretch (in the evening going into the night) and a 4 1/2 hour stretch this morning. And, to top it off Clint was hanging out with our little ladies during that 4 1/2 hour stretch, so there was no reason to have to wake up. Bliss.
getting to talk with a dear friend
and a very tender email from another
a friend who stopped by with some of my very favorite foods
Evee excited about having a sleep over this coming weekend
a family day trip planned for Monday
gifts from family (thanks granny...see pictures)
in general, the wonderful people in our lives
And, yet, its a necessary part of life and one that has been hit or miss around here lately (and by "hit" I mean, of course, 3 hours or so).
So, write about sleep I will...for at least another post or two...maybe more, who knows.
This is a different sort of post, though, since it is about getting sleep. Last night I had a very helpful conversation with a friend about infant sleep. We tried a few things out and behold, there was a 5 1/2 hour stretch (in the evening going into the night) and a 4 1/2 hour stretch this morning. And, to top it off Clint was hanging out with our little ladies during that 4 1/2 hour stretch, so there was no reason to have to wake up. Bliss.
Other good things (non-sleep related) that I am ever so thankful for...
a sweet text from my sistergetting to talk with a dear friend
and a very tender email from another
a friend who stopped by with some of my very favorite foods
Evee excited about having a sleep over this coming weekend
a family day trip planned for Monday
gifts from family (thanks granny...see pictures)
in general, the wonderful people in our lives
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)