...in (no more than) 48 words. A rhythm for the weekend. Taking time to look back on the week past. A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Clint was away. These unsolicited sweet words came from Evee...
"I miss daddy
I miss cuddles with him
I miss him hold you me
I just miss him.
I want 'rocking my baby' from him
I want to get pretty for him
I just really miss him."
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
let love invade
I've been thinking a lot about love of late. Wanting my eyes to be open, to see love where it already is. And in the process to love more intentionally myself.
How do we see love though? Even though we know it, it is often intangible and even confusing at times. Unloving motives can still produce good. And small acts, that don't produce much of anything, may happen with great love.
In a world of personality conflicts, rushing around, busyness, small annoyances, major problems, pain, suffering, grief...where is love? What does it look like? How do we become those who choose to love?
And yet I know that love is "the most excellent way". It is how we "set our hearts at rest". And it's "the only thing that counts". It is the very crux of faith in God.
So, I ponder love.
I think of small acts. A door opened for me. A smile from a stranger. Understanding from a commuter next to me. It is someone sharing pain. Someone sharing joy. Help within a task. A listening ear. A hard, truthful word.
Love is a thought, a motive, an action. Sometimes seemingly insignificant, other times not.
And I think of what it means to love. Not forced love, because who wants that? But a start at intentional love. An opening of my eyes. A gentleness to my words. A quickness with my ears. A fearlessness to say what needs to be said. A kind action.
In this desire, my hope is to share one thing a week, something I intend to do. A small, small act of kindness...an awareness for the week. Maybe we can think about this together.
Please keep any expectations low. The goal is simply to be aware...seeing love and being apart of it...even if a very small part. That is just fine, for it is still love.
And the final beauty, no matter what these lessons in love end up looking like, is this...
Love never fails. It truly is the most excellent way.
How do we see love though? Even though we know it, it is often intangible and even confusing at times. Unloving motives can still produce good. And small acts, that don't produce much of anything, may happen with great love.
In a world of personality conflicts, rushing around, busyness, small annoyances, major problems, pain, suffering, grief...where is love? What does it look like? How do we become those who choose to love?
And yet I know that love is "the most excellent way". It is how we "set our hearts at rest". And it's "the only thing that counts". It is the very crux of faith in God.
(1 Corinthians 13, 1 John 2, Galatians 5)
So, I ponder love.
I think of small acts. A door opened for me. A smile from a stranger. Understanding from a commuter next to me. It is someone sharing pain. Someone sharing joy. Help within a task. A listening ear. A hard, truthful word.
Love is a thought, a motive, an action. Sometimes seemingly insignificant, other times not.
And I think of what it means to love. Not forced love, because who wants that? But a start at intentional love. An opening of my eyes. A gentleness to my words. A quickness with my ears. A fearlessness to say what needs to be said. A kind action.
In this desire, my hope is to share one thing a week, something I intend to do. A small, small act of kindness...an awareness for the week. Maybe we can think about this together.
Please keep any expectations low. The goal is simply to be aware...seeing love and being apart of it...even if a very small part. That is just fine, for it is still love.
And the final beauty, no matter what these lessons in love end up looking like, is this...
Love never fails. It truly is the most excellent way.
"Let love invade you. It will never fail to teach you what you must do. It is love that justifies our actions. Love must initiate all we do." - Carlo Caretto
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
from this to that
As the semester came to a close (and with graduation less than a month away) so does our time here at seminary. It's impossible for me to not feel sentimental, even a bit sad. I think in a lot of ways we, here in this community, know that life is not easily lived how we live here now outside of this context. It is bittersweet to move on.
So, I started a list of some things I will miss. The whole concept of living in community has taken on new meaning. I'm sure I could add many more points...
Thus, I have also been brainstorming ways to make friends in New Zealand.
So, I started a list of some things I will miss. The whole concept of living in community has taken on new meaning. I'm sure I could add many more points...
- Having neighbors as close friends...thus, being able to walk across the street for brunch on Saturday mornings or dinner and shows on Wednesday nights.
- I can literally "stop by" for 20 minutes at any given moment.
- Eating together, eating outside, having an "anyone is welcome" mentality
- Living just fine on less
- All living with the same housing...the only difference being a one bedroom or two bedroom. We all have the same pink tile in the bathrooms. Yes, oddly I appreciate this.
- Clothing swaps
- Bringing meals to others (i.e. for new babies)
- Easter egg hunts and other holiday fun
- Last minute craft nights...which ends up mostly in chatting
- Outdoor walks and knowing that you will run in to someone or many people in the little half mile around the block
- Being able to walk to both Whole Foods and Trader Joe's (both within a mile)
- Swapping date nights or play dates (i.e. free childcare)
Thus, I have also been brainstorming ways to make friends in New Zealand.
- Outdoor eating - bbq or potluck style...really any sharing of food with neighbors
- Being outside...maybe new friends will just walk right by
- Take walks...maybe we'll be the ones to walk by new friends
- Start up a clothing swap
- Initiate a craft night
- Live near a playground or open space (or just go to a nearby playground a lot)
- Find community events happening...like"story time" at a local library
- Hope that there are other lonely moms looking for a friend when Evee starts school
Monday, April 25, 2011
four!
On Easter Sunday sweet Evee turned four. Her name means life and she captures the full meaning of it. It has been multiple days of celebrating...her, Easter and the end of Clint's program (yay!).
4 things that come to mind about this sweet girl in our home...
4 things that come to mind about this sweet girl in our home...
- She takes a moment to warm up. Once she is comfortable you will know a lot of what is going through her head. There is not necessarily any rhyme or reason to the "warming up process" however.
- Evee loves Iris. She is always happy to see her, greet her, play with her. This is actually quite amazing to me and I never tire of it (obviously!).
- She continues to love pink. Purple and blue got added, and sometimes yellow. She is her own person and I'm thankful for that (even though I would not personally choose her fancy style). She is a beauty, no matter what she wears.
- There is much we learn about her as she learns who she is. She is sweet. I've always said it about her and it continues to be true.
Friday, April 22, 2011
this week
...in (no more than) 48 words. A rhythm for the weekend. Taking time to look back on the week past. A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Little preparations for Evee's birthday. Clint plugged ahead with school (will finish today hopefully!). Lots of "counting down" this week.
Celebrated a friend on her birthday. People. Will be sad to leave this community in two short months.
Continuing to think through love and small acts of kindness.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
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Little preparations for Evee's birthday. Clint plugged ahead with school (will finish today hopefully!). Lots of "counting down" this week.
Celebrated a friend on her birthday. People. Will be sad to leave this community in two short months.
Continuing to think through love and small acts of kindness.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
intentions
Today I see that love believes the best of intentions. If proven wrong, then so be it. But, until then, why not believe good in people?
Love is not easily angered. Love always trusts. Love always hopes (even for the best to be true).
Oh, how easy it is to believe the worst when we are hurting. The pain digs deep and thoughts start to creep in.
How important it is to communicate in healthy, non-violent ways...choosing to learn from situations instead of sitting in bitter silence or, even worse, gossiping chatter. It seems to me that most people have valid intentions, even if misunderstood.
Love is not easily angered. Love always trusts. Love always hopes (even for the best to be true).
Oh, how easy it is to believe the worst when we are hurting. The pain digs deep and thoughts start to creep in.
How important it is to communicate in healthy, non-violent ways...choosing to learn from situations instead of sitting in bitter silence or, even worse, gossiping chatter. It seems to me that most people have valid intentions, even if misunderstood.
"Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people."
- Fred Rogers
Monday, April 18, 2011
goat cheese and veggie wrap
Last week I got a wrap at a coffee shop. I decided I could make it at home and have made it a couple times since. Super easy and really good...
Just take a big wrap. I chose tomato and basil, but I'm sure whole wheat or another flavor would be good too.
Smear goat cheese onto the wrap. I love goat cheese, so I put a bit on.
Saute vegetables. For ours I saute zucchini, onion, red and orange peppers, mushrooms and baby bok choy. Just a bit of olive oil and the chopped vegetables.
Put the veggies in the wrap and fold it up. Then I used the same pan and put the wrap in it to toast it a bit on each side.
And that's it!
Just take a big wrap. I chose tomato and basil, but I'm sure whole wheat or another flavor would be good too.
Smear goat cheese onto the wrap. I love goat cheese, so I put a bit on.
Saute vegetables. For ours I saute zucchini, onion, red and orange peppers, mushrooms and baby bok choy. Just a bit of olive oil and the chopped vegetables.
Put the veggies in the wrap and fold it up. Then I used the same pan and put the wrap in it to toast it a bit on each side.
And that's it!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
this week
...in (no more than) 48 words. A rhythm for the weekend. Taking time to look back on the week past. A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
---------------------------------------------
A quiet night. I hear the rain dripping outside. It is comforting.
Thought about simplicity this week. Thought even more about love and its meaning.
Went to a book discussion...a tender group of women. It was more than I expected. Thankful to be part of it.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
---------------------------------------------
A quiet night. I hear the rain dripping outside. It is comforting.
Thought about simplicity this week. Thought even more about love and its meaning.
Went to a book discussion...a tender group of women. It was more than I expected. Thankful to be part of it.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
fasting
I fast regularly for a friend. Not long amounts of time, usually it adds up to a meal or two each week.
I believe that somehow I share in part of her grief. This seems silly to even say since tiny pangs of hunger for a short time are nothing in comparison.
And yet...
it is something.
In some crazy way I believe this is how I can be in it with her. Waiting, hoping, questioning too.
Sometimes hope needs to come from a place so deep, words and actions only go so far to show love. And even though sometimes I have no idea what love looks like or how to show it...I wonder if its meant to be intangible and quiet.
I think about the many in my life this could apply to. Somehow we come together in grief and can help bear the burden, even if it is not our own and even if it's just shouldering a small portion of the pain.
Maybe this is a glimpse of beauty within pain...deep love, carrying the load together.
I believe that somehow I share in part of her grief. This seems silly to even say since tiny pangs of hunger for a short time are nothing in comparison.
And yet...
it is something.
In some crazy way I believe this is how I can be in it with her. Waiting, hoping, questioning too.
Sometimes hope needs to come from a place so deep, words and actions only go so far to show love. And even though sometimes I have no idea what love looks like or how to show it...I wonder if its meant to be intangible and quiet.
I think about the many in my life this could apply to. Somehow we come together in grief and can help bear the burden, even if it is not our own and even if it's just shouldering a small portion of the pain.
Maybe this is a glimpse of beauty within pain...deep love, carrying the load together.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
indoor games
Last week it was raining quite frequently, as it is now again today. One day last week we made an indoor hopscotch of sorts. I cut out numbers from felt. We didn't worry about cutting out squares or anything like that...very simple! Of course, you have to set them on carpet to play so they don't move around.
We used a rice bag my sister made a couple of Christmases ago. Very easy and helps bring activity to the indoors. We've played with it most days...
We used a rice bag my sister made a couple of Christmases ago. Very easy and helps bring activity to the indoors. We've played with it most days...
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, April 9, 2011
contentment
I've noticed a shift lately. For so long I'd been content...my soul at peace. Then slowly, the months unfold and a quiet discontent starts to infiltrate my life. I want something more, something seemingly different, to be fulfilled in different areas of my life.
How quick and easy is it to stop being grateful and become greedy...to desire to be more important than I am! When I do not strive to be grateful and see beauty in all things, I become discontent and unsatisfied in almost every area of my life.
At the beginning of the year my desire was to "rest in grace"...I'm finding that this simple "goal" takes intentionality. When I am grateful, I again see beauty. I accept the simple graces of my day and feel rest and peace. I am present in the moments that are now.
Peace, simplicity and love come from the small things in life. May I more readily see the small, for beauty is in them.
The other day, it was cloudy and gray. I noticed yellow daffodils at the bottom of the overpass as I drove along. Seeing is as simple as that and my soul is lifted.
Today it was...
the way Evee read books and cut out "pretty things" on the bathroom floor as I got ready for the day
a late lunch outside after brunch with friends in the morning...I could feel the sunshine on my feet. when I put our plates across from each other Evee said, "that way we can look at each other"
hearing the vacuum running from the open screen door in an upstairs apartment...knowing that they are celebrating birthdays and, even though we can't make it, I feel excited for the party that will happen for them tonight
birds chirping as I walk into the house around 8pm and there is still a bit of light to the sky
the quietness about our day - peace in the unhurried
this sweetness
How quick and easy is it to stop being grateful and become greedy...to desire to be more important than I am! When I do not strive to be grateful and see beauty in all things, I become discontent and unsatisfied in almost every area of my life.
At the beginning of the year my desire was to "rest in grace"...I'm finding that this simple "goal" takes intentionality. When I am grateful, I again see beauty. I accept the simple graces of my day and feel rest and peace. I am present in the moments that are now.
Peace, simplicity and love come from the small things in life. May I more readily see the small, for beauty is in them.
The other day, it was cloudy and gray. I noticed yellow daffodils at the bottom of the overpass as I drove along. Seeing is as simple as that and my soul is lifted.
Today it was...
the way Evee read books and cut out "pretty things" on the bathroom floor as I got ready for the day
a late lunch outside after brunch with friends in the morning...I could feel the sunshine on my feet. when I put our plates across from each other Evee said, "that way we can look at each other"
hearing the vacuum running from the open screen door in an upstairs apartment...knowing that they are celebrating birthdays and, even though we can't make it, I feel excited for the party that will happen for them tonight
birds chirping as I walk into the house around 8pm and there is still a bit of light to the sky
the quietness about our day - peace in the unhurried
this sweetness
Friday, April 8, 2011
this week
...in (no more than) 48 words. A rhythm for the weekend. Taking time to look back on the week past. A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
---------------------------------------------
Friday, already here.
Finished up my time in California. Left in tears.
Seeing my loves again. Being together.
Re-joining "normal" life of family, work and weekly rhythms.
Anticipating that in 2 1/2 weeks we will celebrate a birthday (4!), the end of grad school (!!!) and the resurrection of Christ. :)
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
---------------------------------------------
Friday, already here.
Finished up my time in California. Left in tears.
Seeing my loves again. Being together.
Re-joining "normal" life of family, work and weekly rhythms.
Anticipating that in 2 1/2 weeks we will celebrate a birthday (4!), the end of grad school (!!!) and the resurrection of Christ. :)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
peace {now}
Besides "this week" posts, it has been awhile. The sadness that is and has been left me lost for writing for a bit. What on earth do you write while hurting so deeply for another?
I have been thinking about what is bringing peace now...
there are the obvious things - family, loving, crying, praying, silence, laughing
but other sweet moments in the last two weeks that shall remain in my mind...
Sitting on a blanket with 3 little ladies (ages 3, 4, and 5) who have not yet known how deep the hurt of the world can be. We sat and ate popcorn...talking of the moments now.
Hearing the realities of life and death stated plainly by my 3 year old.
Knowing what to give when there is certainly nothing to give...in the midst of tears feeling the rightness of a simple gift.
The bond of brokenness...watching a mass of people gather over sadness, caring for and carrying a burden that is not their own.
Laughter in the midst of grief...strength when there is too much pain...questions when the doubt is great...simple beauty and grace dressed in a hospital gown.
And though this vague post might be the only one I write about this time and the loss of Margot June, I will not forget these moments here and now. I will remember her and the deep sense of loss. I will remember Josh & Kari in their grief...this great sadness. There is much to hold in my heart. Life does and will move on, I know, but I will not forget.
I have been thinking about what is bringing peace now...
there are the obvious things - family, loving, crying, praying, silence, laughing
but other sweet moments in the last two weeks that shall remain in my mind...
Sitting on a blanket with 3 little ladies (ages 3, 4, and 5) who have not yet known how deep the hurt of the world can be. We sat and ate popcorn...talking of the moments now.
Hearing the realities of life and death stated plainly by my 3 year old.
Knowing what to give when there is certainly nothing to give...in the midst of tears feeling the rightness of a simple gift.
The bond of brokenness...watching a mass of people gather over sadness, caring for and carrying a burden that is not their own.
Laughter in the midst of grief...strength when there is too much pain...questions when the doubt is great...simple beauty and grace dressed in a hospital gown.
And though this vague post might be the only one I write about this time and the loss of Margot June, I will not forget these moments here and now. I will remember her and the deep sense of loss. I will remember Josh & Kari in their grief...this great sadness. There is much to hold in my heart. Life does and will move on, I know, but I will not forget.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
this week
...in (no more than) 48 words. A rhythm for the weekend. Taking time to look back on the week past. A simple way to remember the weeks, the moments and to stay present.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sadness. Making it through. Clint holding me. So many...supporting , loving. Praying. Ticket. Flying with Iris. Help on plane...Angela. Parents, Josh, Kari, Stella, friends. Feeling hope. Peace. Kisses on the cheek. Sweet moments. Sad moments. Missing Clint, Evee...but good to be out here. Hurting with them.
I would so love to read your words! If you take time to ponder the week and write, please share them.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sadness. Making it through. Clint holding me. So many...supporting , loving. Praying. Ticket. Flying with Iris. Help on plane...Angela. Parents, Josh, Kari, Stella, friends. Feeling hope. Peace. Kisses on the cheek. Sweet moments. Sad moments. Missing Clint, Evee...but good to be out here. Hurting with them.
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