Besides "this week" posts, it has been awhile. The sadness that is and has been left me lost for writing for a bit. What on earth do you write while hurting so deeply for another?
I have been thinking about what is bringing peace now...
there are the obvious things - family, loving, crying, praying, silence, laughing
but other sweet moments in the last two weeks that shall remain in my mind...
Sitting on a blanket with 3 little ladies (ages 3, 4, and 5) who have not yet known how deep the hurt of the world can be. We sat and ate popcorn...talking of the moments now.
Hearing the realities of life and death stated plainly by my 3 year old.
Knowing what to give when there is certainly nothing to give...in the midst of tears feeling the rightness of a simple gift.
The bond of brokenness...watching a mass of people gather over sadness, caring for and carrying a burden that is not their own.
Laughter in the midst of grief...strength when there is too much pain...questions when the doubt is great...simple beauty and grace dressed in a hospital gown.
And though this vague post might be the only one I write about this time and the loss of Margot June, I will not forget these moments here and now. I will remember her and the deep sense of loss. I will remember Josh & Kari in their grief...this great sadness. There is much to hold in my heart. Life does and will move on, I know, but I will not forget.