anger (four)

Previous posts - (one), (two) and (three)

Again, just going to copy and paste...

• In general I've tried to be positive more this past year.  Crazy thought, right? :)  But, I do think it's made a difference.  Seriously, some nights I'd just sit at the end of a day and ask myself, "what was good about today?" or "what brought me peace today...even if for just a few minutes?" 
  
• I've stopped blaming Clint when it's my own fault.  Sure, I can't control everything about our schedule right now...we both have to work and Clint is in grad school and we've decided to have 2 kids.  But, I can control taking care of myself...being aware of what I need and making it happen.  At the start of the semester Clint and I talked.  I told him I was afraid I'd never get moments to myself.  We put a time on the calendar every week that was my time.  He'd be here and I'd walk out the door.  Now we know I get plenty of time, so we don't stick to that time slot a ton, but it's always there if I want it.  I think trading off with each other and comparing calenders is a great way to not become resentful (this goes both ways).  If Clint needs something, I want to trust that he, too, will tell me. 
  
• Some of my worst times were when I was just too busy.  I did a few 50 hour work weeks last year and I thought I was fine and we were "making due" and I was happy to bring in extra money.  No, in reality, it was crazy.  I started to ask God what my limits were.  I asked him how much I should work so that our home life was peaceful and so that I can still like myself and my family.  Last year between the 2 jobs I knew it was 40 (most of which Evee was with me).  This year, it's less than that.  I think this will change again (a lot) so I'll just strive to be aware depending on what our family looks like in the moment.  We both make decisions based on peace in our home.
  
• Last year we also did a weekly date night (we need to get back to this each week).  I think this is great just to be together, have fun, and get back on the same page.  Even if it's at home with your favorite take out or a glass of wine while your kids are in bed.

 And the tail end tomorrow...