I'll just post more of the email today. I'm just copying and pasting...so please excuse typos and all the other mistakes. It was simply an email to my sister.
A few things that came to mind tonight when thinking about this...
- When my mind starting going to "I'm doing this, he's not doing..." I stopped. I told myself the truth about who Clint is instead...an AWESOME dad and husband. He does a ton and would help out in anyway. If we have a good chat about what needs to be done, it's even better (not me crying and angry and making him feel terrible).
- Right now it's a bit easier for me in the "comparison game"...Clint is doing a ton. However, I've still made time for myself which has helped a lot. Last year for Feb - May I had every Friday morning to myself. I literally went to Panera every Friday morning and journaled or read. It was awesome. I don't regret a minute of that time spent "not working" or the $5 I spent. It was worth it.
- This year we put the girls to bed early - around 7/7:30. I see my evenings as "my time". Sure, my house is a bit messier for this season, but I'm not bitter about life...so it works. Like I said, I walk 5 nights a week (only started 3-4 weeks ago). Partly due to wanting to lose baby weight but partly because Clint is running a lot for the marathon and I didn't want to resent that he got time to care about his body and I didn't. He's never said a word bad about it. I think he's super happy that I'm taking that time, in fact. I did think through to find a time that worked for both of us. I think if I went earlier I'd feel rushed and he couldn't get stuff done. If I went later I'd feel like I was missing out on time to relax or hang out with Clint (or get stuff done if I feel like it). Some nights I leave right before Evee goes to bed and other nights I quick put her to bed and then head out. I love these walks...I breath and take in good thoughts.