Friday, December 10, 2010

anger (three)

If you missed the first two posts they are here - (one) and (two).

I'll just post more of the email today.  I'm just copying and pasting...so please excuse typos and all the other mistakes.  It was simply an email to my sister.

A few things that came to mind tonight when thinking about this...
  • When my mind starting going to "I'm doing this, he's not doing..." I stopped.  I told myself the truth about who Clint is instead...an AWESOME dad and husband.  He does a ton and would help out in anyway.  If we have a good chat about what needs to be done, it's even better (not me crying and angry and making him feel terrible).  
  • Right now it's a bit easier for me in the "comparison game"...Clint is doing a ton.  However, I've still made time for myself which has helped a lot.  Last year for Feb - May I had every Friday morning to myself.  I literally went to Panera every Friday morning and journaled or read.  It was awesome.  I don't regret a minute of that time spent "not working" or the $5 I spent.  It was worth it.
  • This year we put the girls to bed early - around 7/7:30.  I see my evenings as "my time".  Sure, my house is a bit messier for this season, but I'm not bitter about life...so it works.  Like I said, I walk 5 nights a week (only started 3-4 weeks ago).  Partly due to wanting to lose baby weight but partly because Clint is running a lot for the marathon and I didn't want to resent that he got time to care about his body and I didn't.  He's never said a word bad about it.  I think he's super happy that I'm taking that time, in fact.  I did think through to find a time that worked for both of us.  I think if I went earlier I'd feel rushed and he couldn't get stuff done.  If I went later I'd feel like I was missing out on time to relax or hang out with Clint (or get stuff done if I feel like it).  Some nights I leave right before Evee goes to bed and other nights I quick put her to bed and then head out.  I love these walks...I breath and take in good thoughts.
Continued tomorrow...

No comments:

Post a Comment