Wednesday, December 8, 2010

anger (one)

I recently had a phone conversation with my sister about anger. I thought about our conversation throughout the day and then emailed her that night.

More came out of me than I expected.

I thought I'd post sections of it here, in parts.

A bit of vulnerability this week friends.  

The context of the conversation was mostly around getting angry, specifically with husbands, and being sad/frustrated by it but also feeling unsure of how to change.

Today I'll start with my story...

(from the email)
"I am thankful for grace on the journey... I know I don't really have answers except for what I experience.   And, just to be clear, as far as "letting go of anger", it's been about solid year, but yet, only a year.  It's a process, right?
I used to get upset with Clint.  I would be so mad, then sit and think about all the things that were bothering me or what I felt alone in (that I was doing so much and he wasn't doing enough).  Besides the first year of marriage (when I was angry a lot), I would go in seasons where I was angry and then fine."
And to add a back-drop...

Our first year of marriage I did not respond to the birth control pill well at all.  I was basically angry all the time until I got off.

Growing up I must have been easily angered.  I'm not exactly sure why (definitely something to think about) and I don't know if I could have said that before this year.  I'm sure if you ask my siblings and parents they would say this is true.

I've always been good at bottling stuff up and then letting it all out in one crazy moment. 

(an odd place to stop, I realize, but I think I'll pick it up again tomorrow)

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