small joys

Well, if I wait to write when I'm getting more sleep it may be months.  So here I am...in spite of a tremendous lack of sleep these days.

Last night was a rough one.  Iris has been consistently sleeping 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours at a time during the night.  This is vastly different than Evee, who as a newborn was sleeping 6+ hours at this point in life (if I'm remember right, but I think I am).  In any case, I've been choosing to be happy (for the most part) about getting 2 hours of consecutive sleep and believing it can only get better from here.

Last night something went awry.  Iris was awake for the better part of 12:35am-3:00am.  I'll add that she then went to sleep until 3:45am.  Smile. Yep, a whole 45 min later we were up together again.

To add to that, I had put Iris back to bed (again) around 6am and not ten minutes later I hear Evee's door open.  Seriously?  Last week she was consistently sleeping till 8:30 (sometimes 9).

I'm chalking it up to an "off" night and hopeful that tonight will be smoother.

While deliriously tired I try to find small joys in the night time routine...even if it's simply the sweetness of the little one I'm holding and desperately trying to get back to sleep.

One greater appreciation I now have is the way my pillow feels as I gladly join it for a couple more hours of sleep and the beauty of pulling the sheets up close to my face - the coziness of those brief moments before I drift to sleep.  Those feelings are only increased in the switch off between me coming to bed and Clint getting up to be with Iris.  I'm all the more comforted knowing that Clint is with Iris and is more than able to comfort her (except if she's hungry, of course).  If she cries, I still get to lie in bed.

I woke up as he came back to bed.  He held me close - understanding the lack of sleep and the longness of the night.  Thankful that in the midst of it all and in the variations within our roles, we get to parent together.