Thursday, November 13, 2008

Parenting with Love and Logic

I started reading this book - Parenting With Love And Logic - at the beginning of this week and it is so good. Talk about peace! It is bringing it to my life! It's kind of funny looking back on my post about choices because that is what this book is all about, but for our kids.

I've been thinking for some time now that we should really have a plan for parenting. We have a lot of great modeling from our parents, but hadn't fully decided what we would do. I believe that the things we do now, when Evee is young, are so important in who she becomes. It's easy to become overwhelmed with the dailiness of having a little one or ones, that we often get side tracked into just "making it". I knew that we didn't want to do that and Clint and I had talked about how we'd discipline, but hadn't formulated a plan. Honestly, from stuff I'd heard and tried to look up, it seemed that a lot of people give advice for 2 years +, but I was having a hard time believing that there wasn't much for 2 and under. One day my dad suggested this book - he had heard others saying how helpful it had been. Once he said that, I remembered a teacher mentioning this book to me this past summer and telling me how wonderful it is.

Really, I could go on and on about Parenting with Love and Logic, but I'll try to just give some of the basics. If you are looking for a great parenting book, though, this is it!
  • We tend to parent how our parents did - which may or may not work in this day and with your children. The author talks about how things have changed... "The human rights revolution, the communication explosion, changes in the family - these, and many other factors, have radically changed how our children view life."
  • The words "love" and "logic". Love that isn't permissible, but love that allows our kids to make mistakes and learn from them. Logic that helps our kids make decisions and live with those choices, especially in the younger years when the stakes aren't as high, thus teaching them to be responsible adults.
  • The authors encourage, most of all, a healthy and loving relationship with your kids...this is the foundation. And the book is not about a formula, but more an attitude. It does give many practical tips, though, for specific situations.
I'd love to give you some examples (because the book is filled with them and I was in awe and laughing throughout the entire book), but I think it's better to get the whole picture as some of the examples might be confusing if you haven't read the book.

I found the book at our local library, but I intend to get it to have as a resource for the many years ahead! You can get it on Amazon or go directly to their site. If any one wants to discuss it further, I'd obviously love to!


  1. I'm going to have to give this one a read. Steve has read it and really liked it - agreed with it. It is so hard to have a plan and purpose for the way we allow our kids to process the choices they make all within the context of love. :)
    Very cool stuff!

  2. We've had this book for a while and have even given it as gifts to friends.. It's such a good read and just makes plain sense when you think about it!

  3. Thanks so much for this suggestion. I'm definitely going to check this one out!

  4. From a veteran mom. More specifically, Jamie's mom :). Didn't know about this book in the 80's when I was having my kids, but it sounds like it would have been a helpful tool.

    I do know that once a parent, always a parent, though that role changes over time.

    Unconditional love is a lifetime commitment to our children no matter what age.

  5. I've read it--great principles. Glad that you've enjoyed it.

    I can't remember if that's the book that gave the example about the referee. Basically the concept is that when a player steps out of bounds, the referee doesn't get all flustered. He just makes the call & the consequence is handed out. That has impacted my parenting--loving response to either a wise choice or an unwise choice. (at least that's the goal I have for myself! :-) )