{I wrote this post on November 27th, only to post it now}

Today Iris is playing elsewhere. The weekend - everything from hosting a baby shower, going to a wedding, hosting Thanksgiving for a number of families and heading for a short bit back to the wedding reception, all in one day, to having our second preview service - has come and gone.

I find myself (using a gift card from my birthday!), sitting down to eggs benny and a great cup of coffee.

It is hard to journal while you eat, so I get somewhat caught up on blogs. Namely my brothers.

I sit at my table alone and cry. Happy, sad, all together.

We've started an informal grief group for those who have lost someone to suicide. After this post a few people contacted us, looking for a group. For now, we've started to gather informally.

I find it interesting to be in this place of facilitating, empathizing, but not having experienced. When I give it thought I know I do it for my friend. My friend who lost her partner.

I believe that people who have experienced such loss should be able to have one place in their lives where they come and all that they are feeling and experiencing is normal. Especially when they so often feel abnormal in the rest of their lives.

As I sit and listen to the group, though, I also wonder if I do it a bit for myself.

Last night in the sharing my mind went to Josh and Kari losing Margot. I hear them in my head. Their story of loss and grief. And, somehow, sitting in a group of grief I feel connected to them. Grief is an interesting thing.